So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
