Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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