k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
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i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Boobs are out for the taking
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The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
is it fun? or sober?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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