oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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