2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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