I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize