I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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