my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
