Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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