what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Randomize
