Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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