I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
