You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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