This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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