Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize