i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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