I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Im just a social blackout drinker.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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