I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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