Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
