If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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