You're completely useless in the revolution.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
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I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
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You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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