My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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