I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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