My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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