This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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