You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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