marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
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you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
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The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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