i wish my penis had a tongue
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
