Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize