she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
