Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
