I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
