I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
