yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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