I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
