Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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