how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
