dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
