hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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