omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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