Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
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Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
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can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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