Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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