girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
