HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just want to make out with him forever
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
