Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
