Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...