Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It's never too late to be topless.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Randomize
