I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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