Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
