Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize