He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
