She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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