you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize