Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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