yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
