A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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