We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
