Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
