I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
