Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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