Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
